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About Me
- Rocket Fuel
- Hi,Welcome to my mind.... I'm Gary Westbury or more commonly referred to as Idiot,Loser,Nutcase,Weirdo,Wild Man Of Borneo,Worzel Gummidge or Poor Bloke.And yes I will proudly answer to all of them as I take them as a compliment.Now I don't think that I'm "Crazy" like the guys who wear odd coloured socks or dress like Doctor Who,but I'm a little different,yet to me I'm normal.So why have I dragged you hither to this 'ere Blog?Well because I've decided that after years of writing down Daft Ideas,Thoughts,Rants,whatever I thought I should try and get it all into a Book and what better way to start than with a bit of Public opinion!Thanks for dropping by and hope you enjoy.
4 comments:
penis stew
1 pound of penis, ram's or bull's
3 tbls. oil
1 large chopped onion
2 garlic cloves, peeled and chopped
1 tsp coriander seeds, crushed
1 tsp salt
freshly ground black pepper
Scald the penis, then drain and clean (doesn't say how you clean a penis. Not sure a guy would know since this penis is, well . . . never mind).
Place the penis in a saucepan, cover with cold water, and bring to a boil.
Remove any scum, then simmer for 10 minutes.
Drain and slice.
Heat the oil in a large skillet.
Add the onion, garlic, and coriander and fry until the onion is golden.
Add the penis slices and fry on both sides for a few minutes.
Stir in the remaining ingredients with a good grinding of pepper, add enough water to cover, and bring to a boil.
Lower the heat, cover, and simmer for about 2 hours, or until tender.
Add a little water from time to time if necessary to prevent burning.
The ladies say this was originally a Jewish recipe from Marcelle Thomal.
Apparently innards, including penis, once played a major role in Jewish cooking.
This recipe is taken from The Two Fat Ladies, Full Throttle by Clarissa Dickson and Jennifer Paterson. New York, Clarkson Potter, c1998
British Bull Balls
Purchase, obtain or steal beef testicles from your local market or steer field (if you prefer them fresh). Slice each testicle with a sharp knife and place in frying pan with your preference of oil (butter, canola, olive, lard, etc.). Fry and turn as needed until golden brown. Goes good with fried bread, black pudding (congealed beef blood) and fried tomatoes.
Deep Shit Cookies
CHOCOLATE INGREDIENTS------------
1/2 c Honey
2/3 c (1 and 1/3 stick) butter, margarine, or lard
1 Egg
1 ts Vanilla or peppermint extract
2 c Whole wheat flour
1/3 c Cocoa powder
Grape-nuts(tm) cereal
--------------------------GINGERBREAD INGREDIENTS----------
1/4 c Honey
1/4 c Molasses
2/3 Cup(1 and 1/3 stick) butter or margarine, or lard
1 Egg
2 And 1/3 cups whole wheat
-flour
Spices-ginger, cinnamon, cloves to taste(maybe 1/2 tsp each)
Grape-nuts(tm) cereal
----------------------------------MIX-INS------------------
Coconut tapeworms)
Chocolate chips
Butterscotch chips
Peanut butter chips
Cooked spaghetti or ramen noodles roundworms)
Corn
Peanuts
M&ms
Last warning-many of you may not want to read this! this is the recipe for little gator's famous "Deep Shit Cookies"
There are two flavors-chocolate (dark brown), and gingerbread light brown)
I seldom measure carefully so amounts may need adjustment, especially on flavoring. The cookies are dense and not very sweet, this is necesssary so that they will keep their shape during baking. If you use white flour or sugar they may be tastier but they won't look like shit.
To make:
Microwave the honey till it bubbles about 1 minute). Add the butter, I've been told using lard makes for a more realistic texture and softer cookie) and the molasses, if any. Add the egg, mix well, then mix in all the other stuff. Add mix-ins of your choice to some or all of the batter.
Chill 1 hour in the freezer or several hours in the fridge. Roll dough logs of random length and the diameter of cat poops. Roll logs in grape-nuts and bake at 350 degrees till done maybe 10 to 15 minutes but with my flaky oven you never know). Note: someone with a reliable oven says it's closer to 20 minutes for him. thanks Paul!)
Serve in a disposable cat litter box on a bed of grape nuts, with a cat litter scoop. I hear you get lovely effects by decorating the box and scoop with melted chocolate or pudding. I imagine brown sugar might work as a substitute for the new clumping litters, but I haven't tried it. I've been told that mixing brown sugar with the grapenuts "sweetens up the cookie a bit while still looking truly hideous."
This recipe worked especially well at the Halloween party where the table was already decorated with plastic flies.
Hairball Salad With Saliva Dressing
1 large Ripe avocado
2 cups Alfalfa sprouts
5 large to 6 carrots -- washed peeled and grated
Italian dressing
-----TOOLS-----
Paring knife
Spoon
Mixing bowl
Fork
Carrot peeler
Grater
4 Salad bowls
With an adults help, cut avocado in half. Use a spoon to scoop out the pit.
Scoop avocado out of the shell and put in the bowl. Add sprouts to the avocado meat. Mash with a fork. It is ok to leave some lumps.
Set the mixture aside.
Divide the grated carrots among the four salad bowls.
Using your clean fingers and a spoon, make walnut size hairballs from the avocado mixture and arrange them on top of the grated carrots. Pour Italian "saliva" dressing over hairballs and serve. Serves 4 cat fanciers.
Sicko serving suggestion: Squeeze ribbons of chocolate icing "hairball" medicine out of a paper cone onto the backs of your guests hands to be licked off for dessert.
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